12th day

Today is the 12th day since the arrival of baby fox, and there seems to be this custom/tradition practised by my MIL side where she'll prepare confinement dishes like pig's trotters and chicken in rice wine and bring them to the aunties in the family. Last night, Mr Fox also brought some chicken in rice wine back to my mother for her to offer to the ancestors today. He came back with 2 boxes of birds nest (from my dad) and 2 sets of clothes for baby fox (1 each from my mum and sis). Looking forward to their visit this sun, cos I haven seen them since 9 Jul. Though SG aint that big, it's still quite a hassle to travel from BB to Hougang, esp when my dad is super busy with work nowadays and cant drive my mum here.

Mr Fox went back to work yest, and it seems like he's going on a roll (though unwillingly). Already, this morn at 6am, he left home for a flight to Penang and will only be back tomorrow night. Also confirmed is his trip to KL this sun and will only be back on Wed. Urgh.... It's tough enough handling baby fox during the nights, tonight is the first night i'd have to do so without mr fox by my side...

Just to give you an idea of what my nights are like these days:

12.30am-1am: Feeding time
1am-130am: Pacifying time, trying to get baby to sleep so that I can sleep too
1.30am-2.30am: If lucky, baby will sleep quietly (though now i'm such a light sleeper, and I keep imagining that baby is fussing ard and kept jumping out of bed to check on him)
2.30am-2.45am: Baby starts crying, it's feeding time again...

This cycle will repeat itself till morn ard 7+, when I finally give up on trying to get some sleep and will carry baby out of the room to get some morn sunlight tanning (a bid to keep down his jaundice).

Somehow, baby prefers sleeping in the day, though there's still the 2-3 hrly feeds, it is a total ease getting him to sleep after each feed. Am desperate for the day when he can behave likewise during the nights.

I'm getting so tired (even the malay massage lady comments so) that I'm now contemplating giving baby formula milk at night so that he can sleep longer (baby digests breastmilk at a faster rate, hence he gets hungry more often). Will discuss with mr fox when he gets back... The tiring nights are getting to him too. And I truly appreciate his efforts to coax baby fox in the middle of the night and relieve me of the frustrating task.

Sometimes, I wish for someone who's in the same situation, so that I can talk to her and share the pains and joys of being a new mother. But since I am the first amongst my close friends to embark on this phase, I have to rely on the internet and seek solace with strangers out there who are also going through the same phase.

All that said, despite all that frustrations and tiring days and nights, one look at baby fox, especially when he smiles (at what, I have absolutely no idea), makes it all worthwhile....